"There are so many things you will need to know in order to decide if truck driving is the right career choice for you. I'm not talking about shifting, steering, and braking. I'm talking about things they don't teach in truck driving schools,and things the companies don't always talk honestly about.
Questions like:
How much does truck driving school cost?
What is the trucking lifestyle like?
What will be expected of me?
How will I be treated?
What type of school should I attend?
How often will I get home?
What types of jobs are available?
How much money will I make?
...and many, many more.
After 15 years on the road, I have the answers to all of your questions - questions you'll need the answers to in order to make the right choices."
- Brett Aquila -
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What's The Difference Between An Elephant & A Police Car?
The elephant has the trunk in the front and the a**hole in the back
How do you know when your wife is messing with a Swift Driver?
When you come back after a week on the road and he is still trying to back out of the driveway.
Swift's Backing Troubles
I was in the TA lot watching a swift truck trying to back into a hole for the night when after quite a bit of time, the Swift driver got on the radio for help; I helped him back in and he wanted to give me 10 dollars, I replied no keep your weeks pay. If your truck had a trailer on it I would accept it
Deer Hunting
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too.
"Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something ... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."
After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.
A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"
"Yeah, but we're getting farther from the truck," the other added.
14 Signs Your Online Relationship Isn't Working Out
14) You discover that "Chesty McBust" isn't her real name, and she's dialing in from Langley, VA.
13) You: Large, hairy man. Your online girlfriend: Large, hairy man.
12) Her postmaster rejects your e-mail not as "undeliverable" but as "unlikely to get you anywhere."
11) After months of shared experiences and emotional investments, she attacks you in the Mines of Quarn with a Vorpal Sword when she learns you're worth 45,000 points.
10) "Returned mail: User unknown and never wants to hear from you again."
9) Your cyberlover is just too busy editing that silly little Top 5 List.
8) Getting perhaps a bit too comfortable, she lets a reference to cutting her chin shaving slip by.
7) You discover that she has been cutting and pasting her orgasms.
6) You can barely make out your SO's face in the JPEG she sent because she's obscured by her 25 cats.
5) He claims to be the richest man in the world, but his GIF looks like some geek who works for a software company.
4) Since her first e-mail, Make.Money.Fast!@cyber-promotions.com has become cold and distant.
3) She's suddenly changed her address to comingout@lesbian.com
2) Ken Starr launches an investigation into your relationship with the mysterious "tubby@whitehouse.gov"
1) In an ironic twist of fate, you discover that the object of your affection is a curvaceous 18 year old, rather than the geeky 14 year old boy she'd pretended to be.